Keeping a record

A simple, honest log — useful no matter which explanation eventually fits your situation.

• Record facts and times, not interpretations or diagnoses. “Pickup was 6:40pm, 10 minutes late” — not “he’s deliberately sabotaging the schedule again.”
• Log your own missed opportunities too, not just what the other parent did wrong. A one-sided log is less credible and less useful to you.
• Never record your child covertly — no hidden recording devices, no secretly taped calls. It can backfire legally and it teaches your child something you don’t want to teach them.
• A log is evidence of what happened, not proof of why it happened. It can support a professional’s assessment; it can’t replace one.
• Obsessive documentation can become its own trap, and it can hurt your child as much as it hurts you. If logging starts to feel like the only thing you do, that’s a sign to step back and get support — not to log more.

A template you can copy

Select the text below and copy it into a notes app, document, or diary — one entry per incident.

Date:
Time:
What happened (facts only):
Who was present:
Anything I could have done differently: