Some children refuse contact because something happened. If that’s your child, they need you to believe them, not persuade them out of it.

What justified rejection looks like

A consistent account, told the same way over time, describing specific incidents rather than general complaints. The reasons are proportionate to what happened. The refusal doesn’t escalate just because contact is requested more insistently — it stays about the same events, not about winning an argument.

What it is not

A label for any refusal you personally find hard to accept. Justified rejection is decided by what a child has actually experienced, not by how painful the refusal is for the parent on the receiving end.

If you’re the parent being rejected, and you suspect this is justified

Don’t push for contact right now. Get your own professional support — a therapist, not just a lawyer — and focus on your child’s safety and the process ahead of you, rather than on being right. If you’re also wondering whether something you did contributed to this, that’s worth looking at honestly.

Things worth checking is a non-accusatory place to start.

If a child discloses something to you

Listen without expressing your own view first. Tell them they did the right thing telling you. Tell them it’s not their fault. Take it seriously, explain what happens next, and never confront the person they’ve disclosed about yourself.